


chasing after our ends

by vividseptet



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: (but its not explained at all), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Character Study, Gen, august referred to in-fic as misha, chikage and hisoka appear from a distance, does this even count as one?? idk!, sorry i havent posted here in years i dont fucking know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vividseptet/pseuds/vividseptet
Summary: some familiar faces (expected and unexpected) make misha reflect on the past. he of all people knows how fast things can change, and how important it is to be able to adapt to a new situation. to see december do it so well, it's... a lot for misha.
Relationships: August & Mikage Hisoka & Utsuki Chikage
Kudos: 20





	chasing after our ends

**Author's Note:**

> i doubt anyone who doesn't know august would be reading a fic with him, but because i'm overthinking, spoiler warning for mlam, act 5, and risky game!

misha’s used to blending in with crowds, and he does exactly that as he enters the theater lobby. the horde of people buzzes with chatter, building an atmosphere of anticipation with each word. that feeling of unity was precious to misha; if he couldn’t be with his family, at least he could share his emotions with the strangers surrounding him.

he’s too used to scanning his surroundings, to registering every movement in his field of vision. processing every little thing is overwhelming right now, since he knows he’s probably safe. misha’s not stupid—he’s dyed his hair a shade of light brown and parted it a different way, invested in colored contacts, and has even been trying to teach himself how to do makeup to change his face structure a bit.

what’s harder than not recognizing himself in the mirror is not feeling the ring around his thumb.

it’s not _gone_. misha’s too sentimental for that. it just rests on a chain around his neck instead. misha knows it’s not the same though. he wishes he could wear it on his thumb as usual, but everyone who knew misha before his current lifestyle knew he wore it there, and wearing it on a different finger didn’t feel right. of course, his current arrangement doesn’t feel right either, but the weight of the band on the thin chain makes him feel a little better.

he needs to focus on the present. he shuts his eyes for a moment, just to take a deep breath. he fidgets with his ring out of habit, and when misha drags himself back into reality, that’s when he sees him.

he wants to cry, he wants to yell out to him, he wants to shove everyone away to crush him in a hug to his feigned annoyance, he wants to let him know that he’s here, alive, _real_ —

but misha knows the danger both of them would be in if he did that. so he stands still, watching as april enters the seating area.

_are you watching him?_

it’s a question misha desperately wants to ask april, even though he knows the answer. he knows they’re both there to see december.

misha tries to ignore the way his hands tremble when he gives the staff member his ticket.

he tries to ignore the tears that spill from his eyes when december comes out from one of the wings.

the man up on stage isn’t the same as the boy he took out of an alleyway years ago. as much as it stings, it’s what misha wanted for him. his tears are out of sadness, yes, but also out of the overwhelming pride he feels.

nothing is the same for december. he’s the same person, physically, but misha knows that so much has changed. he can tell from the fact that he lets the lead actor stand behind him. he’s found people he can trust, and misha knows that will help december through anything.

after all, december and april were those people for misha.

despite misha’s crying, the play was quite entertaining. misha has always enjoyed the idea of acting, of expressing your passion through a character and breathing them to life. it’s why he always gave the three of them such detailed backstories whenever they went to a new country. now december can do that without risking his life.

december’s smile during the curtain call sends an ache through misha’s chest. it’s painfully bittersweet to see the new life december has made for himself. misha’s glad that december followed misha’s supposed last words, even if december forgot them. he can’t suppress all his jealousy; as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he wants december and april to move on from the past, he wants to be a part of their new lives.

that’s when misha realizes he never got the chance to make them a non-burnt, _proper_ home-cooked meal.

misha composes himself, dabbing at his eyes with a tissue that he had half the mind to shove into his pocket earlier. so much for the makeup.

as soon as the lights overhead turn back on, he rushes out of the theater. he can’t risk being seen by april.

emotions clash from all different directions headfirst into misha. he’s lonely (god, _so_ lonely), cautious (though that’s his normal, he supposes), and a whole mess of other smaller feelings that he can’t put a name on.

but most of all, he’s still proud. not just for december—for april too. they’re both alive, and the sense of relief that fact gives misha washes away every negative emotion. they’ve moved on from the organization, and—even better—they’ve found each other again.

he hopes april’s willing to deal with the december that has no memory of him, but he knows that whether or not he’s willing to, he’s going to anyway. he’d bitch and moan about it, but that’s april’s odd way of showing affection. misha can’t suppress the small smile that breaks through from thinking about it.

what the three of them had can’t be the same, but misha tells himself that those two were always so resilient. they dealt with things that no kid should deal with in their childhood, and when misha gave them the option to, they took his hand as he guided them directly into life-threatening danger. misha made sure to raise them to be able to go on without him.

even if things changed for them, misha knew they would be able to make something new.

**Author's Note:**

> see, august doesn't know what chikage was told after his supposed death, so he thinks chikage and hisoka are reunited and happy together, but in reality chikage is blinded by hatred and-
> 
> title from moon river by frank ocean. this fic was originally inspired by dear april (also by frank ocean), but as i wrote it the focus shifted from august thinking abt chikage to august thinking abt hisoka. ty for reading!! pls offer constructive criticism... im very rusty lol. thx again for reading!!!!


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